 |
Written
by Dallen "Paki" Stanford |
OXY TIGERS 15 vs LA Rugby Club 26
January 29 2005
“The fact that yours says R-E-P-L-I-C-A
on it and mine says DESSERT EAGLE .50 should precipitate
your balls into shrinking…” – Lock Stock
& 2 Smoking Barrels
This may have been the case – the OXY
TIGERS firing blanks in their away match versus LA. That
and a few minor injuries: Jan-Marie (broken leg), Scud (bruised
big toe) and Frank the Tank (torn hamroll I mean hamstring)
didn’t help matters.
The match itself was very reminiscent of the
405 highway. The referee did his very best to blow his whistle
every 2 seconds – thus ruining any momentum and phase
play. LA scored a brace of tries before half time using
their large pack but the TIGERS finally pulled out their
DESSERT EAGLE .50 towards the end.
Thys ‘Captain America’ Wallace
(aka Pampoen) ran one of the best lines since Studio 54
off the Pakistani and stormed over untouched for a sensational
try. HOU DIE KLEINGELD. The second try was also a classic.
The Russian Shooter (Comrade) made the hard yards, the Magician
(Merlin) broke free with CJ and Demo cleaning the ruck.
Quick backline ball saw international rugby star Girlkie
(Andre) burn over to score a coast-to-coast try!! That’s
what I am talking about.
LA however held on to clinch the victory –
but the TIGERS learnt some valuable lessons as the season
started to heat up.
The Tsunami match provided arguably more highlights
than Hilton Warmback on his anti-drinking campaign. Newcomer
Codi Banks played what can only be called a barnstormer.
Not only did he crush the opposition like a mini pretzel
but showed some attacking class that only the French could
be proud of. The Man-of-the-Match Banks ran all of 80 metres
from Sri Lanka to England to touch down one of the most
famous tries of 2005. Absolute beautiii!!!
Two other incidents walk away with Moment-of-the-Day.
The first was seeing war veteran Jaak at flyhalf –
then kick a chip and chase for him and the 1952 steeplechase
world record holder keith kay. A sight that would bring
tears to your eyes. Legends.
The second which used to be written in this match report
had to be removed because a person we can't mention doesn't
want to get in a certain type of trouble we can't mention.
A massive congratulations to the Tigers hard
man Meat who represented the EAGLES at the Jewish Rugby
World Cup – named the McCabe Games after HILTERS successful
poison tour of 1945. Who said you can’t represent
the EAGLES whilst playing division two rugby? Mason…
POST MATCH
From the start people were foaming at the mouth
– with Tazz even bringing his own golf ball to the
party. The only thing that man is scared of is sleeves on
a t-shirt.
Sharkeez in Hermosa beach was substituted for Manhattan
Beach across the road from the old ‘South African
Embassy’. An absolute haymaker as usual with LA responsible
for providing the entertainment. At one point in the evening
– for no apparent reason – five LA players (all
forwards) got changed into their birthday suits and streaked
around the bar. Unbelievable. It must be said the cold did
a lot to down size their heroics…
Codi Banks wasn’t far from the
action yet again as he was made to SHOOT THE BOOT twice
in his first outing for the Tigers. All was well until his
girlfriend – who missed the first and second boot
– forced another down his throat.
The look on his face – Priceless.
